Waterworld Move Review



The actual movie is significantly less epic than this

     Waterworld is a perfect example of a movie with an awesome premise that unfortunately fell flat thanks to its poor story and boring characters.  In this sci-fi adventure the polar ice-caps have melted, leaving Earth's surface covered completely with water, forcing humans to adapt to this new, harsh environment.  The movie itself follows the exploits of a nomad traveling the seas who teams up with a young girl and her guardian in an attempt to escape a band of pirates called the "Smokers," who believe that the tattoo on the girl's back is the key to finding dry land.
     The biggest problem with Waterworld is its characters.  The nameless Mariner is your typical rogue who likes doing things his own way, and in the end turns out to be a complete jerk.  He kills an entire ship full of innocents without batting an eye and make two attempts to kill the annoying little girl that he's forced to take with him.  Sure, in the end the become friends, but until then he makes for a poor protagonist.  The other half of the problem is that the little girl is annoying, and you'll find yourself wanting to throw her into the ocean as well.  So when they finally do become friends you could hardly care less.  The film's villain is also boring.  A bald pirate with an eye patch and affinity for shooting people?  Yawn.
     Waterworld also has the disadvantage of being set in a world in which there is nothing but water.  Yes, there are floating villages and such that pop up here and there, but after a while the big blue gets monotonous.
     So, what did this movie get right?  Well, it did have an interesting premise, with the whole myth of dry land built up fairly well, and it was interesting to see how the humans survived on the ocean.  There are also a handful of action scenes scattered in between watching the boring sea, that are fun, but not particularly creative.
Conclusion:  Waterworld could have been a cool post-apocalyptic science fiction if it weren't for its unlikeable characters and lackluster story.  There are a few cool bits scattered here and there, but they aren't worth waiting for in the sea of mediocrity.  The potential is there, but it never blooms.
Rating:  5/10 "Mediocre"
Favorite Moment:  I'm wondering whether or not I should even put this here since I'm not even recomending the film....  Okay, you know what, I'm right.  No "Favorite Moment" section for anything below a 7 from now on.  Maybe I should start doing a "Least Favorite Moment" section for movies like this...